Today
by Michelle285
Summary: A song-fic. Mary ends up marrying Raph. How does Marshall feel about this?


_ Disclaimer: I don't own anything, I never have, but I'm still trying. The characters belong to brilliant minds at USA and the song belongs to Gary Allen…well, he sings it. _

_ A/N: This is an amazing song, but really sad and I can't believe I wanted to write this fic. It made me think of the whole Mary, Marshall and Raph triangle. I know this is angst, but it was just too perfect to pass up. Well, not totally perfect, but go with me on this, deal? I'm not in favor of Raph, but to understand this fic, we have to pretend he's not an obnoxious waste of space and that Mary actually loves him…which I don't think she does. Oh, and that he didn't leave, since this was written before that whole deal. And, I absolutely hate writing in first person, but it just seemed to fit here. Thanks to BuJyo for her fabulous betaing! Enjoy my friends. _

It was perfect. She was beautiful. She was always beautiful, but the wedding dress just made her radiant.

Stan walked her down the aisle. Jinx was sitting close to the front, waiting for Stan. Brandi, her maid of honor, was already crying and Eleanor, surprisingly one of her bridesmaids, had tears threatening to take her over as well.

Raph was smiling watching Mary walk down the aisle. He had some baseball buddies up there as his groomsmen.

I don't want to watch this, but here I sit. When she gave me an invitation, well, I knew I couldn't refuse her. The preacher is now asking who gives Mary to Raph. My Mary (in no way do I mean this in a possessive way) is now, forever, Raph's. Just thinking about that makes me sick.

_Today, he told her that he loved her  
Put a ring around her finger  
And promised her forever, together._

"With this ring, I thee wed," Mary repeated after the preacher. She then repeated the vows after the preacher; the one thing sticking in my head was "Til death do us part."

"With this ring, I thee wed," Raph repeated after the preacher. He repeated the same vows, and he said the same thing, "Til death do us part." He was going to be with her forever. He was promising her that they were going to be together, forever. Lovely.

_Today, she smiled for all the pictures  
And he was right there with her  
Making all the memories without me  
And it hurts to say this out loud  
Looks like she's really gone now_

I saw her taking a few pictures after the wedding. Mary was smiling. She wasn't using that fake, happy smiled that I have come to recognize. She was really happy, without me. What happened to the days when only I could make her smile?

Raph was standing right there beside her. His arm was around her and he looked just as happy as she did. These were pictures that were going to bring her memories of happiness, without me. What happened to the days when only the memories of her and I made her happy?

Well, she's gone. Not in the physical sense, we will still work together. In the emotional sense, she is with someone else. I couldn't help but whisper to myself that she was gone. I thought saying it out loud would make it more real, but it just made it hurt worse.

_Today, is the happiest day of her life  
I should be happy for her today  
So tell me why are these tears in my eyes?  
I know I should be happy for her  
But I've lost everything  
I've lost everything I've ever wanted today_

I can tell Mary is happy. This is her wedding; I know it is the happiest day of her life. At least, that's what Eleanor told Mary it would be. That is the one and only thing that kept me from standing up when the preacher asked if anyone had objections. I couldn't ruin her day.

I know that I should be happier for her than I am right now. I mean, she is my best friend, and when she is happy, I am happy. If that is so, why do I feel tears in my eyes, threatening to spill over at any second? Like I said, I should be happy, but I know these aren't tears of happiness.

How do I know that? I know because ever since the day I met Mary Shannon, she's all I ever wanted. She is married now and I've lost everything I've ever wanted. In an hour I lost everything.

_Today, I thought about the moment I could have said I loved her  
And promised her forever together  
Today, today it really hit me  
That she don't really miss me  
She's found a new beginning  
And I'm wishing I had one more chance  
God knows it's too late for that_

I remember when Mary was kidnapped. I could have told her I loved her then. I could have told her when I found out she was engaged. I could have told her after she was shot. I could have told her after I dragged her off of that bridge. There were so many times I could have told her I loved her. Of course, not in those words; I knew they would have scared her. Why don't they scare her when he uses them?

I thought maybe she wanted to be with me as well. I thought maybe that was why she was so reluctant to wear her ring at work and to tell me about it. I guess I was wrong.

I also thought the Marshal Service would be her life. True, she hasn't quit, but she has started a new chapter in her life. Stan and Eleanor called it a new beginning and she agreed.

I wish I had another chance. I need another chance. If I had another chance I would remind her that I would always protect the world from her and her from the world. Why didn't she understand that in that moment I was trying to tell her how much I loved her; what lengths I would go to for her.

I wish I could just enjoy one more day with Mary in our office. I would enjoy it no matter what. I want her to throw spitballs at me and push her paperwork off on me. I want to spend one more day laughing and joking with Mary. One more day with Mary as a single woman. I sigh in disappointment. It's too late for that.

_Today, is the happiest day of her life  
I should be happy for her today  
So tell me why are these tears in my eyes?  
I know I should be happy for her  
But I've lost everything  
I've lost everything I've ever wanted today_

She is happy today. I can tell by the light in her eyes when she dances with him. She is dancing with him and she is smiling at him.

I am smiling too, but there are tears in my eyes as well. I should be happy that she has found someone she wants to love. She has found someone who seems to love her as well.

All I can think while she is dancing with Raph is how wrong this is. How she should be dancing with me. I know that I've lost every chance of ever loving someone, of ever getting married. The only woman I've ever wanted is with someone else.

_Today, is the happiest day of her life  
I should be happy for her  
But I've lost everything  
I've lost everything I've ever wanted  
Today, he told he that he loved her  
Put a ring around her finger_

I can't tell Mary goodbye. I just told Eleanor to tell her for me. Eleanor agreed and gave me a sad and pitying look. I know she knows what I'm thinking and feels sorry for me. I don't see Mary anywhere and I think it will be easier for me to slip out unnoticed.

Uh-oh. In front of the door I see Mary and she is talking with Raph. Well, I can't slip out now. I'll just hide in the shadows and wait for them to move. This is their party, they'll have to move soon.

I can hear them talking. I know I don't want to hear this so I try to tune it out, unsuccessfully. I see him lean in to kiss her ring finger and I hear him whisper, "Til death do us part." They go back to the party soon after and the tears that have been threatening to spill over all day finally make their way down my cheeks.

I don't understand why I can't be happy for Mary. She's happy, so I shouldn't be sad. I suppose it's because she's married and I know I will never get a chance with her. I lost everything I ever wanted, today.

_ Tell me how I did, please? I always try to end my song-fics with the title of the song, as I did here. This is my first song-fic, so please tell me how it was. _


End file.
